MY SOCIAL MEDIA TRANSITION (1)
Why I’m transitioning away from social media :
1) It distracts me too much from the things (I say) I value most.
If I told you to list out your top five values, what would you say? I did this exercise with a group of young women a few years ago, and most of the listed values were similar: Friends, school (or job), God, and some even said their significant others. After the young women listed their values, we asked them to tally up how they actually use their time. We noticed significant gaps and differences between how they spent their time versus what they said mattered most.
It’s no surprise that we spend most of our time is online. It might be a little more surprising to notice that even the time spent with loved ones is not even REAL time; it’s divided attention split between smart phones, television, and intrusive thoughts (typically brought on because of extensive online engagement). It begs the question: Is all time ….good, quality time? Of course not. In fact, spending time with people while we are distracted can create more potential for interpersonal fractures. When I’m spending time with my husband and daughter, I aspire to be more present and attentive. I don’t want my daughter to know me through the barrier of a smartphone- tugging on me, showering me with “mommy, mommy” to break loose from my screen.
I think we convince ourselves that social media helps us connect with friends and loved ones. However, the relationships that were once deep, intimate and rich… are turning into one-sided, non-reciprocal friendships. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a friend’s Instagram story and made assumptions about how they were doing. I wonder how many times we’ve missed opportunities to truly see one another and develop stronger connections.
You’d think that being connected to thousands of people would equate to more emotional and mental connection. We have millions of people posting 10-part “story times” on TikTok, sobbing into the camera, hoping to feel validated, valued, or connected.. Even if we believe that the videos are disingenuous and manipulative, the needs remain the same- to truly be seen. And these needs typically go unmet because we need more than a comment or “like”. We need to invest and be invested in.
For the past few years, I’ve thought about integrity a lot. What is it and why is it so important. Integrity speaks to morals and ethics, but ultimately it encompasses the state of being a whole, undivided, or unimpaired unit. When our actions constantly betray what we deeply believe in, we are scattered, cracked and unwell. My hope is that my time will reflect what I truly believes matters most.
Be well. Love you.
